Every now and then, I try to stop. I feel like I'm a nuisance, so I stop. It's so hard, but I must do it. I've succeeded for a few hours.

Then, I get a message. The smile returns to my face. All self-control runs and hides.

The game of hide-and-seek with the self-control begins all over again.

Why do I feel this way? Feelings are too strong and its so hard to contain them, but I must. It's just better this way.

Is it?

Sigh.